For a few days I had to go home due to my grandmother passing away. This trip back home that initially appeared to produce solely pain actually produced joy and growth in my life.
Going back to Pennsylvania for a couple days enabled me to rest which I rarely have had a chance to do ever since school and Washington. During this resting time, I learned that I must strive to never get to a place where I am burnt-out-like. Instead, I must always guard my time and view it as something pure and precious to my heart.
Furthermore, this trip allowed me to have courage to talk to my parents about several things that have been weighing on my heart for a very long time. Although scared at first to confess my feelings to them, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders when I did. God is truly doing a transformational work in my parents hearts as well as mine. Right now, I'm learning more and more about becoming a woman of God as well as being a godly daughter to my parents. The distance between my parents as well as the Spirit's work in my heart has shown me various ways that I can honor and love my parents more.
While being an intern in Washington, one of the things that the interns have been asked to do is to make a job description of what they would like to do this summer. Before coming to Washington, I already knew the areas of ministry I wanted to be exposed to, or so I thought. Between being on the plane and having a lot of time to myself in PA, God was disciplining me and gently showing me that I did not have the right motives in doing some of the things that I wanted to do. I thank Him for revealing these things to me! He truly discplined me in a way of love and birthed a desire within me to do the things that He has for me this summer.
This trip has filled me with an inexpressible joy, and I rejoice in Him for His continual goodness and grace in my life.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
The Phrase
"What you feed grows, what you starves dies" would be a common phrase that I heard from my youth pastor while attending my youth group. She used this phrase pertaining to sin, saying that if one continually feeds the small desires of sin, the desire will gradually grow bigger and bigger, thus leading into deeper and deeper sin. However, if one consistently trains themself through rigorous discipline, the desires of giving into that particular sin will die.
While laying in my bed jet-lagged, looking like i'm undergoing some type of detox, this phrase became a resounding anthem pertaining to some things I am now experiencing.
Halfway through my first semester at Zion, God confronted me on some pride issues in my life. There appears to a process that goes something like this: sin, being exposed to your sin, the choice of staying in that sin or getting out of it, then (if you chose to get out of that sin), applicational steps to starving your desire to sin.
Right now, I am going through the last step (this does not mean that I have arrived, instead, I must continually starve these desires).
Today has been a day where I have thought of ways as to how I could discipline myself toward starving the lochness monster of pride in my life. I won't write in this blog the ideas I came up with (which aren't really my ideas to begin with, but some things I found in the Bible), but if you have any questions just let me know.
He has continued to be gracious to me, especially in this area of my life.
My prayer is to live a life of purity, humility, and holiness. Pride is the exact opposite of Jesus. "The great sin" is this lingering stench that contaminates everything it touches. The only remedy for this stench is the blood of Christ.
I must rid myself of my narcissistic tendencies and embrace the same humility as Christ.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, an comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. --Philippians 2:1-11
While laying in my bed jet-lagged, looking like i'm undergoing some type of detox, this phrase became a resounding anthem pertaining to some things I am now experiencing.
Halfway through my first semester at Zion, God confronted me on some pride issues in my life. There appears to a process that goes something like this: sin, being exposed to your sin, the choice of staying in that sin or getting out of it, then (if you chose to get out of that sin), applicational steps to starving your desire to sin.
Right now, I am going through the last step (this does not mean that I have arrived, instead, I must continually starve these desires).
Today has been a day where I have thought of ways as to how I could discipline myself toward starving the lochness monster of pride in my life. I won't write in this blog the ideas I came up with (which aren't really my ideas to begin with, but some things I found in the Bible), but if you have any questions just let me know.
He has continued to be gracious to me, especially in this area of my life.
My prayer is to live a life of purity, humility, and holiness. Pride is the exact opposite of Jesus. "The great sin" is this lingering stench that contaminates everything it touches. The only remedy for this stench is the blood of Christ.
I must rid myself of my narcissistic tendencies and embrace the same humility as Christ.
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, an comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. --Philippians 2:1-11
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Rest
As I'm sitting in the middle of Sea-Tac airport at gate s-9, I am once again reminded of God's sovereignty in my life. The tune "Your Love is Strong" by Jon Foreman plays back in my mind and the book of Philippians continues to become illuminated in my everyday life.
In the midst of unnamed pain that is occuring in my life right now His grace continually enables me to rest in Him.
I'm overwhelemed as I look at all the unfamiliar faces that are in this airport. Some are sitting by themselves, meanwhile, others are sipping a cup of Seattle's Best Coffee with a friend. There are some who look happy; then, there are those sitting off to the side who look sad and broken. I am overwhelmed by His love for me. In the midst of a million diverse faces, He continues to single me out, drawing me near to Him. I am simply tip-toeing the depths of His unconditional love.
I sit in this airport alone, withdrawn from all who I hold dear in my heart as I journey down a painful and unavoidable road. In the midst of this, I pray that His word continues to be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path as I rest in Him for these next couple days.
In the midst of unnamed pain that is occuring in my life right now His grace continually enables me to rest in Him.
I'm overwhelemed as I look at all the unfamiliar faces that are in this airport. Some are sitting by themselves, meanwhile, others are sipping a cup of Seattle's Best Coffee with a friend. There are some who look happy; then, there are those sitting off to the side who look sad and broken. I am overwhelmed by His love for me. In the midst of a million diverse faces, He continues to single me out, drawing me near to Him. I am simply tip-toeing the depths of His unconditional love.
I sit in this airport alone, withdrawn from all who I hold dear in my heart as I journey down a painful and unavoidable road. In the midst of this, I pray that His word continues to be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path as I rest in Him for these next couple days.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The phrase, "his mercies are new every morning," resounds in my mind as I'm writing this blog and contemplating on His goodness.
These past couple months, I have struggled with the question "what does women in ministry look like?" as well as "what does a women's role in marriage or a relationship look like?"
Now, I must reaffirm to you I do not have any plans on marriage during my college journey at Zion! But, I have been exposed to these issues in some of my classes at school.
Once again, I say that His mercies are new every morning because He has given me an immensity of grace as I wrestle with this issue.
For a few weeks now, I am realizing that the answer to these questions is suddenly beginning to unravel. I'm observing women of godly stature who continually demonstrate authentic humility during my experience at Olympia, WA. I continue to see this picture in my head. I see an anchor that is starting to sink down and cling to this desire that I have tried at all costs to avoid.
In all transparency, I have always desired to be a godly person, but not necessarily a godly women. There has always been a part of me that cringes when I hear terms such as "women's ministry," "girls night," and so on.
Rebellion to these following things as well as being a mother, having kids, and being submissive to their husband has gradually consumed me. But, this is sin. I must be conformed to the stance that the Word takes on this instead of trying to have the Word conform to my fleshly desires.
I must submit to being a godly woman and die to my rebellion and pride in this area. There is joy in this, joy in knowing that I am glorifying God in this area of my life. Oh how I have compromised God's joy for my own joy, which in actuality really isn't joy, but the end product is baggage and suffering that He never wanted me to originally have. On the contrary, the pain and suffering that is involved in becoming conformed to His Word results in joy, His joy which surpasses my own.
Nailing this sin to the cross will initially bring immense pain as I shed the skin of my "own" will and fully clothe myself with His will. I stand before an audience of one and will only answer to Him at the end of my life. He truly knows me. Such reassurance I receive when I think of Psalms 139:1-18, which is what I will leave you with.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem in me, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
These past couple months, I have struggled with the question "what does women in ministry look like?" as well as "what does a women's role in marriage or a relationship look like?"
Now, I must reaffirm to you I do not have any plans on marriage during my college journey at Zion! But, I have been exposed to these issues in some of my classes at school.
Once again, I say that His mercies are new every morning because He has given me an immensity of grace as I wrestle with this issue.
For a few weeks now, I am realizing that the answer to these questions is suddenly beginning to unravel. I'm observing women of godly stature who continually demonstrate authentic humility during my experience at Olympia, WA. I continue to see this picture in my head. I see an anchor that is starting to sink down and cling to this desire that I have tried at all costs to avoid.
In all transparency, I have always desired to be a godly person, but not necessarily a godly women. There has always been a part of me that cringes when I hear terms such as "women's ministry," "girls night," and so on.
Rebellion to these following things as well as being a mother, having kids, and being submissive to their husband has gradually consumed me. But, this is sin. I must be conformed to the stance that the Word takes on this instead of trying to have the Word conform to my fleshly desires.
I must submit to being a godly woman and die to my rebellion and pride in this area. There is joy in this, joy in knowing that I am glorifying God in this area of my life. Oh how I have compromised God's joy for my own joy, which in actuality really isn't joy, but the end product is baggage and suffering that He never wanted me to originally have. On the contrary, the pain and suffering that is involved in becoming conformed to His Word results in joy, His joy which surpasses my own.
Nailing this sin to the cross will initially bring immense pain as I shed the skin of my "own" will and fully clothe myself with His will. I stand before an audience of one and will only answer to Him at the end of my life. He truly knows me. Such reassurance I receive when I think of Psalms 139:1-18, which is what I will leave you with.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem in me, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Feeling the Heat
This week my mind has experienced information overload! But, this appears to happen on a daily basis.
All that I have believed to be true, things that I have been taught since my childhood is undergoing major testing right now. I feel as if all my "beliefs" and "traditions" are undergoing a time of refinement. This process as you can imagine is extremely painful and it offends my pride. Sometimes, these feelings and thoughts appear in my mind attempting to convince me that I am only moving backwards. But, I must deny these thoughts because their voice is contrary to truth. Ironically, truth says that I'm moving forward. Truth is telling me that this experience is not spinning me backwards. Instead, I am being propelled forward.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire-- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
--1 Peter 1:3-9.
All that I have believed to be true, things that I have been taught since my childhood is undergoing major testing right now. I feel as if all my "beliefs" and "traditions" are undergoing a time of refinement. This process as you can imagine is extremely painful and it offends my pride. Sometimes, these feelings and thoughts appear in my mind attempting to convince me that I am only moving backwards. But, I must deny these thoughts because their voice is contrary to truth. Ironically, truth says that I'm moving forward. Truth is telling me that this experience is not spinning me backwards. Instead, I am being propelled forward.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire-- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
--1 Peter 1:3-9.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The Baton
I feel as if my mind is turning into mush due to all the information I am learning at a very fast rate! Consequently, I will be writing many blogs!! During my experience at Zion and at ECC one thing I have been learning about more and more is the baton of leadership. The baton of leadership that I am speaking of is when the time comes for one to pass on their roles and responsibilities in leadership to someone else, especially in ministry. This can involve passing the baton from one person to another, or even on a bigger-scale from one generation to the next. I have been exposed to the tension that arises when the baton is passed from individual to individual and generation to generation.
First, I will talk about this being seen from individual to indivdual. This summer I am challenged that when the time comes for me to leave Olympia to pass off all that I have learned to someone else. From my observations in ministry, I have seen some pastors or different leaders poorly pass the baton of leadership to their successor. An example of this is seen when a pastor or leader in ministry centers their entrusted ministry around themselves and their own personality rather than the Gospel or their community. How selfish and arrogant is that! Yet, how easy it is to do this especially in a society where this is so prevalent! Some examples of this is seen in sports organizations where a David Wright or Jose Reyes are deemed the face of the NY Mets. Or, how Miley Cyrus/ Hannah Montana is the face of disney. Centering an organization or ministry around specific personalities only brings temporary success and is extremely risky! What happens if David Wright or Jose Reyes have long-termed injuries? What happens when Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus grows up (which is already starting to occur)? Today I have sat and pondered this for over an hour. In all trasparency, the pride that at times wars within wants the students at staff at ECC to feel the effects of my absence in August. How ugly my flesh can be! However, God's grace enables me to yearn for a ministry that is Christ-centered and to desire a smooth pass off of the baton of leadership to my successor in all areas of my life! Our pride and arrogance wants us to grasp the baton with all our might! Our pride and arrogance wants others to feel the effects of our absence! Our pride and arrogance wants to create a ministry that is self-centered and personality driven! But, Jesus is earnestly crying out for those who will center their entrusted ministry around Him and His sheep. Let this continue to be the cry of my heart these next 3 months as well as all the days of my life.
Furthermore, I am seeing the reluctance and fear of one generation passing the baton of leadership to another. This is especially seen in the pass off of the generation that is in their 40's to 70's to my generation. (to be continued)
First, I will talk about this being seen from individual to indivdual. This summer I am challenged that when the time comes for me to leave Olympia to pass off all that I have learned to someone else. From my observations in ministry, I have seen some pastors or different leaders poorly pass the baton of leadership to their successor. An example of this is seen when a pastor or leader in ministry centers their entrusted ministry around themselves and their own personality rather than the Gospel or their community. How selfish and arrogant is that! Yet, how easy it is to do this especially in a society where this is so prevalent! Some examples of this is seen in sports organizations where a David Wright or Jose Reyes are deemed the face of the NY Mets. Or, how Miley Cyrus/ Hannah Montana is the face of disney. Centering an organization or ministry around specific personalities only brings temporary success and is extremely risky! What happens if David Wright or Jose Reyes have long-termed injuries? What happens when Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus grows up (which is already starting to occur)? Today I have sat and pondered this for over an hour. In all trasparency, the pride that at times wars within wants the students at staff at ECC to feel the effects of my absence in August. How ugly my flesh can be! However, God's grace enables me to yearn for a ministry that is Christ-centered and to desire a smooth pass off of the baton of leadership to my successor in all areas of my life! Our pride and arrogance wants us to grasp the baton with all our might! Our pride and arrogance wants others to feel the effects of our absence! Our pride and arrogance wants to create a ministry that is self-centered and personality driven! But, Jesus is earnestly crying out for those who will center their entrusted ministry around Him and His sheep. Let this continue to be the cry of my heart these next 3 months as well as all the days of my life.
Furthermore, I am seeing the reluctance and fear of one generation passing the baton of leadership to another. This is especially seen in the pass off of the generation that is in their 40's to 70's to my generation. (to be continued)
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A whole New World
It's a beautiful day today in Olympia, WA. These past couple days it has been nothing but sunny and in the high 70's. While being here for 6 days I am beginning to learn more and more about Olympian culture.
This beautiful city has numerous evergreen trees (hence WA. being called the evergreen state). They have the same stores as the east coast such as: panera bread, red robin, olive garden, applebees, target, lowes, and so on. But, there are some new stores that I have been learning about. For instance, there's this really cool smoothie chain on the west coast called jamba juice. Also, charley's is a sub place and is 50 times better than quiznos! There is about 3958647695847589642 Starbucks in this beautiful city alone! They're in grocery stores, malls, and on every corner! It is some sort of epidemic :)
The scenery in this state capital is beautiful. One thing that I learned quick while being in Washington state is that Olympia is full of hippies and tree-huggers. Many Olympian residents recycle, wear tye-dye shirts, hippie skirts, and Jesus sandals. This city is near evergreen state college which is in the top 10 most liberal colleges in the US.
Yesterday, Alyson, the person who I'm living with took me to capital park (I'm not sure if that's what it's called but I'll call it that for now). The park is beautiful and is surrounded by a beautiful lake as well as their inescapable evergreen trees :). While walking around it was as if the world was on pause. I stood in awe as I was gazing at the crisp blue sky and all the residents walking their dogs or jogging with a friend.
On the east coast, littering is so prevalent in beautiful scenic areas. To my surprise, this city is litter-free. From what I've learned the Olympians take great pride in keeping their city clean and make sure that the landscaping around various stores and shops are well kept.
The biggest shocker is how the entire area is very laid back. An example of this is in the Olympians driving habits. Everyone seems to abide by the speed limit. If you go more than 70ish you'll probably pass around 40 cars in a matter of a minute.
That's it for now, sometime next week I'll get into some thought provokers perhaps. :)
This beautiful city has numerous evergreen trees (hence WA. being called the evergreen state). They have the same stores as the east coast such as: panera bread, red robin, olive garden, applebees, target, lowes, and so on. But, there are some new stores that I have been learning about. For instance, there's this really cool smoothie chain on the west coast called jamba juice. Also, charley's is a sub place and is 50 times better than quiznos! There is about 3958647695847589642 Starbucks in this beautiful city alone! They're in grocery stores, malls, and on every corner! It is some sort of epidemic :)
The scenery in this state capital is beautiful. One thing that I learned quick while being in Washington state is that Olympia is full of hippies and tree-huggers. Many Olympian residents recycle, wear tye-dye shirts, hippie skirts, and Jesus sandals. This city is near evergreen state college which is in the top 10 most liberal colleges in the US.
Yesterday, Alyson, the person who I'm living with took me to capital park (I'm not sure if that's what it's called but I'll call it that for now). The park is beautiful and is surrounded by a beautiful lake as well as their inescapable evergreen trees :). While walking around it was as if the world was on pause. I stood in awe as I was gazing at the crisp blue sky and all the residents walking their dogs or jogging with a friend.
On the east coast, littering is so prevalent in beautiful scenic areas. To my surprise, this city is litter-free. From what I've learned the Olympians take great pride in keeping their city clean and make sure that the landscaping around various stores and shops are well kept.
The biggest shocker is how the entire area is very laid back. An example of this is in the Olympians driving habits. Everyone seems to abide by the speed limit. If you go more than 70ish you'll probably pass around 40 cars in a matter of a minute.
That's it for now, sometime next week I'll get into some thought provokers perhaps. :)
Friday, May 14, 2010
Ch-ch-ch-changes
It's been a while since I have written a blog and so much has happend. This will be my feeble attempt to effectively communicate all that has been going on these past couple months.
To start off, I finished my freshmen year at Zion Bible College. Everything that I was blessed with at ZBC was only by His grace! This semester I encountered some pride issues that were gradually surfacing. God truly humbled me during this time and left an imprint upon my heart. The imprint He left was this: self-sufficiency results in destruction but Christ-sufficiency results in victory. For next semester, I felt directed to take only 14 credits. Fortunately, I can afford to do that because I took a couple sophomore classes. While pondering whether or not I should make this lofty move God spoke to me in my stillness. He brought the story of Mary and Martha to my attention. In this story, Martha is working hard and demonstrating diligence. Meanwhile, Mary is not helping out her sister and is sitting at Jesus' feet. Martha becomes upset with her sister and complains to Jesus about her. Jesus says to Martha something along the lines such as: "Martha you are troubled about many things, but only one thing is needed." Jesus is not upset with the fact that Martha chose to clean the house and to be diligent. We need Martha's in our society today. But, Jesus did not agree with Martha criticizing the decision Mary made to sit at His feet. While recollecting this story the Lord spoke to me. He said to me something like this: For too long, Nicole, you have been a Martha but I am calling you to a season of being a Mary-- I want you to take time to sit at my feet. This upcoming semester will be very challenging for me. If you know me at all you know that I am a work-aholic. I enjoy working hard and being diligent. It is very rare for me to become tired and burnt out and if I have those feelings I still push on. This upcoming semester I really want to sit at His feet. I truly count grades and positions as loss in comparision of knowing Christ. I want to be obedient to His voice and the call that He has for me next semester. Don't get me wrong, this transition next semester does not mean that I will slack off or become lazy! This change simply means that I will still be diligent, but, I will be devoting my energies elsewhere.
Another change that has occured is that I am doing an internship in Olympia, WA. I arrived in Olympia on Monday and right now it is Friday. I love it at Evergreen Christian Community. I feel at home here already! God has been doing a transformational work in my heart since I have been here. Andrew preached a message Wednesday on 1 Corinthians 4:1-5. Andrew's main point in this sermon was "your job is you." Simply put, this phrase means that one should not compare themselves to others or get caught up with what others around them are doing. Instead, one is to solely stay focused on what God wants from them. Before coming to Olympia that has been my prayer. My prayer these past couple months is that I will not strive to be something that I'm not and that I will stay focused on whay God has for me instead of measuring up and comparing the other interns and staff to myself. A specific burden has been getting heavier within my soul. This burden is to do anything for Christ at all costs. This summer, I have been called to place some things upon the altar these next three months: family, some valuable relationships, money, and mobility. Although painful, I continue to stand in the midst of His love and mercy as His goodness continues to be evident in my life. Enduring these some-what small sufferings is producing perserverance to one day endure greater sufferings that lie ahead. I am excited for all that God has for me this summer and desire nothing more than reflecting Christ.
This is it for now. But I will leave you with some of Paul's words in Romans 5:1-5:
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
To start off, I finished my freshmen year at Zion Bible College. Everything that I was blessed with at ZBC was only by His grace! This semester I encountered some pride issues that were gradually surfacing. God truly humbled me during this time and left an imprint upon my heart. The imprint He left was this: self-sufficiency results in destruction but Christ-sufficiency results in victory. For next semester, I felt directed to take only 14 credits. Fortunately, I can afford to do that because I took a couple sophomore classes. While pondering whether or not I should make this lofty move God spoke to me in my stillness. He brought the story of Mary and Martha to my attention. In this story, Martha is working hard and demonstrating diligence. Meanwhile, Mary is not helping out her sister and is sitting at Jesus' feet. Martha becomes upset with her sister and complains to Jesus about her. Jesus says to Martha something along the lines such as: "Martha you are troubled about many things, but only one thing is needed." Jesus is not upset with the fact that Martha chose to clean the house and to be diligent. We need Martha's in our society today. But, Jesus did not agree with Martha criticizing the decision Mary made to sit at His feet. While recollecting this story the Lord spoke to me. He said to me something like this: For too long, Nicole, you have been a Martha but I am calling you to a season of being a Mary-- I want you to take time to sit at my feet. This upcoming semester will be very challenging for me. If you know me at all you know that I am a work-aholic. I enjoy working hard and being diligent. It is very rare for me to become tired and burnt out and if I have those feelings I still push on. This upcoming semester I really want to sit at His feet. I truly count grades and positions as loss in comparision of knowing Christ. I want to be obedient to His voice and the call that He has for me next semester. Don't get me wrong, this transition next semester does not mean that I will slack off or become lazy! This change simply means that I will still be diligent, but, I will be devoting my energies elsewhere.
Another change that has occured is that I am doing an internship in Olympia, WA. I arrived in Olympia on Monday and right now it is Friday. I love it at Evergreen Christian Community. I feel at home here already! God has been doing a transformational work in my heart since I have been here. Andrew preached a message Wednesday on 1 Corinthians 4:1-5. Andrew's main point in this sermon was "your job is you." Simply put, this phrase means that one should not compare themselves to others or get caught up with what others around them are doing. Instead, one is to solely stay focused on what God wants from them. Before coming to Olympia that has been my prayer. My prayer these past couple months is that I will not strive to be something that I'm not and that I will stay focused on whay God has for me instead of measuring up and comparing the other interns and staff to myself. A specific burden has been getting heavier within my soul. This burden is to do anything for Christ at all costs. This summer, I have been called to place some things upon the altar these next three months: family, some valuable relationships, money, and mobility. Although painful, I continue to stand in the midst of His love and mercy as His goodness continues to be evident in my life. Enduring these some-what small sufferings is producing perserverance to one day endure greater sufferings that lie ahead. I am excited for all that God has for me this summer and desire nothing more than reflecting Christ.
This is it for now. But I will leave you with some of Paul's words in Romans 5:1-5:
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Pivotal Point
This morning while reading Philippians I am challenged as a leader and minister of the Gospel of Christ. The attitude that Paul has in Phillipians chapter 1 teaches me how to compose myself and conduct myself as a leader when faced with challenging situations. In chapter 1, Paul is an example of how one should compose himself/herself when times of challenge andtrouble come. Instead of Paul complaining about his imprisonment and the challenging times he is facing, he sees light in it, and perhaps even optimism in his suffering. This is seen in verses 12-14 when he says:
I want you to know brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.
By focusing on the good coming out of Paul's suffering and challenging times, he is being an example to the Philippians of how they should conduct themselves when being confronted with difficult times as well. The pivotal point of this is found in Philippians 1:27-28:
Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God.
Paul shows the Philippians that if they do two important things when encountering difficulties and hard times that it will garauntee the defeat of their enemies and their being saved, their salvation.
The two things that Paul says to do is: to stand firm in unity, and to have courage, "not frightened in anything by your opponents."
Paul first wants the Philippians to stand firm as one body and one mind, "striving side by side for the faith of the gospel of Christ."
It appears to be easier to stand in unity as a body when one is experiencing times of favor. However, Paul is explaining here that if anything, a body needs to be even more tightly knitted, and to keep in perspective the same vision, working side by side for the same thing, which is the faith of the gospel of Christ. Paul also shows the Philippians in chapter 2 what a body functioning in unity looks like. Paul shows the Philippians that in order to have unity one must imitate Christ's humility and to "do all things without grumbling of questioning."
Also, Paul wants the body to have courage and confidence when confronted with difficult situations. Paul exhibits great confidence and courage when he looks at the benefits of his imprisonment rather than disadvantages. Also, when he says in chapter 1:15-18:
Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense and in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.
Paul is having an immense amount of confidence and courage by making this statement. He is showing that he is not frightened by the tactics of his enemies. Paul exudes great confidence and courage, not in himself, but in God alone. Paul has such an amazing understanding in the fact that nothing can hinder the God's plan for his life. In other words, Paul has an understanding of God's sovereignty in his life.
I am extremely challenged in areas of leadership to apply this text in my life. Oh how I desire for God to use me to create a team of leaders and believers that stand in unity and courage! Oh how I am challenged to look at things from the perspective of benefitting others and to rid myself of my selfish ways! Most importantly, I am challenged to be more like Christ.
I want you to know brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.
By focusing on the good coming out of Paul's suffering and challenging times, he is being an example to the Philippians of how they should conduct themselves when being confronted with difficult times as well. The pivotal point of this is found in Philippians 1:27-28:
Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents. This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God.
Paul shows the Philippians that if they do two important things when encountering difficulties and hard times that it will garauntee the defeat of their enemies and their being saved, their salvation.
The two things that Paul says to do is: to stand firm in unity, and to have courage, "not frightened in anything by your opponents."
Paul first wants the Philippians to stand firm as one body and one mind, "striving side by side for the faith of the gospel of Christ."
It appears to be easier to stand in unity as a body when one is experiencing times of favor. However, Paul is explaining here that if anything, a body needs to be even more tightly knitted, and to keep in perspective the same vision, working side by side for the same thing, which is the faith of the gospel of Christ. Paul also shows the Philippians in chapter 2 what a body functioning in unity looks like. Paul shows the Philippians that in order to have unity one must imitate Christ's humility and to "do all things without grumbling of questioning."
Also, Paul wants the body to have courage and confidence when confronted with difficult situations. Paul exhibits great confidence and courage when he looks at the benefits of his imprisonment rather than disadvantages. Also, when he says in chapter 1:15-18:
Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will. The latter do it out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former proclaim Christ out of rivalry, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense and in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice.
Paul is having an immense amount of confidence and courage by making this statement. He is showing that he is not frightened by the tactics of his enemies. Paul exudes great confidence and courage, not in himself, but in God alone. Paul has such an amazing understanding in the fact that nothing can hinder the God's plan for his life. In other words, Paul has an understanding of God's sovereignty in his life.
I am extremely challenged in areas of leadership to apply this text in my life. Oh how I desire for God to use me to create a team of leaders and believers that stand in unity and courage! Oh how I am challenged to look at things from the perspective of benefitting others and to rid myself of my selfish ways! Most importantly, I am challenged to be more like Christ.
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